Tributes
Stories can impact us like nothing else.
Stories move us. They can change our minds. They can inspire us. They teach us. They can even be an instrument that God uses in our conversion. We need stories to be told. We need to share the story of how God has worked in our lives, too. This is even more true today.
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" I cannot think of a more perfect modern-day example of a saint then Christian himself."
As far as my experience with your wonderful people, and Christian of course, I have both fond and sad memories. I remember August 26th 2020 like it was yesterday. I had only been working on the unit for about 2 weeks when Bonnie and I were assigned to be Christians nurses. I remember how nervous I was at just the sheer thought of being responsible for people lives; to this day it’s sometimes still a little scary. I guess Christian could sense my nervous energy, but from the second I made eye contact with those big beautiful brown eyes, my fears just melted away. We started with small talk, the usual “where are you from” and all that, and the second I found out we both were thespians the rest was history. I remember finding myself just hanging out in Christian's room when I had a few spare minutes. Just his physical presence gave me such a sense of security, it’s almost as though when the world felt like it was spinning out of control, Christian would ground me again. It didn’t even matter what the conversation topic was, Christian was just so damn easy to talk to, it was almost intoxicating. His little jokes were my favorite.
Then that horrible day came. That gut-wrenching news that confirmed all of our worst fears. Bonnie and I knew how bad it was before Dr. Humar and his team came in to tell everyone. I cried alone in the supply room, just praying that no one would walk in, so I didn’t have to say the C word out loud. Cholangiocarcinoma.
I remember composing myself and as soon as the doctors were out of that room, Bonnie and I were in. In nursing school, they never teach you how to deal with these kinds of situations, as a nurse I’m supposed to fix people, save people, but I didn’t know how to help Christian. What happened next I will never forget. I remember sitting at the foot of Christian's bed just trying to think of something positive to say, when your angel son grabbed my hand and just said “Have you gotten a break today?” In this insane moment of pure life altering terror that was leaving everyone, including myself, speechless, Christian wanted to make sure I had gotten something to eat. I just remembered mumbling back through tears and snot running down my face “no” and his perfect snappy comeback “well Alli, you know nurses need to eat too”. So I did just that.
I’m now a little over a year into my nursing career. I’m still on 11 North, the abdominal transplant unit, and I’m actually a charge nurse now. I grew into my role as a nurse because of Christian. I am so thankful to have been a part of that small glimpse of his extraordinary life. Christian helped me to gain confidence in myself and my abilities as a nurse to care for those at their absolute worst. I will always carry that memory of Christian for the rest of my life. And thanks to him, I now make a conscious effort to ensure I have a break during my long days because “nurses need to eat too”.
I will leave you with that seemingly small exchange that changed my life forever. In true Christian fashion I wanted to include a quote from my personal favorite Shakespearean work, Macbeth:
“And this our life, exempt from public haunt, Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, Sermons in stones, and good in everything”
With all my love,
Allison, RN
Tribute
Testimonial
How could anyone write something worthy of Christian's life? I know it cannot be done. For this reason, it has taken me so long since Christian's passing to write this. Finally, I have accepted the impossibility of writing something sufficient and instead hope that I can offer some small reflection to capture some small piece of who Christian was. I hope it is one drop in the ocean of his memory that so many of us share and will revisit throughout our lives. When I think of what Christian meant to me as a friend and still means to me today, I think of how he made me feel. I felt that Christian was always at the social and emotional center of any group of our friends–not just in the physical spaces where we gathered, but also in the networks of friendship we built over many years and maintained across thousands of miles of distance. I felt that, no matter where our lives took us–to college, to work, to new relationships and new chapters in life–Christian would always be there, pulling us back together with the people we loved. Most friendships ebb and flow. People change, you lose touch, and when you come back together, often something is different. This was not the case with Christian. I felt that I could share anything with him, and he would deeply understand me. I remember sharing music with him online about eight years ago. There was one short piano song–just a few minutes long–that had been stuck in my head for weeks. We listened to it together, and right when my favorite part started, he said, slowly and sincerely, "Wow… that's so pretty." We exchanged songs we liked and explained how each one reminded us of the people and places we loved. I felt we could relate–deeply, vulnerably, and without judgment. By now, Christian's friends have shared hundreds of memories like this with one another. How did each of us feel such a deep connection with him? The answer, I think, is that Christian saw and cherished what was best in each of us. And he told us what he saw. If he thought you were funny, he told you, and you would laugh together. If he thought you were smart, he told you and said he was proud to be your friend. If he thought you were loyal, he would confide in you. And he always told you that he loved you. Christian was so generous in his love that he saw beautiful qualities in all of his friends. And in doing so, he helped us to see the best qualities in ourselves. Christian was so warm, empathetic, funny, and intellectually curious that we could not help but believe him when he said he saw these traits in us. I was so proud to call Christian my friend. I felt that, because he had chosen to be my friend, there must be something special about me, something worth loving. Christian told his friends he loved them so often that we (in good humor) gave him a hard time for it. It was a telltale sign that he was having fun. But Christian said he loved me in our most sober moments, too, like when we first spoke after his diagnosis. In this, Christian was utterly unique. It is too rare that we say we love each other. It is almost unheard of among young men and boys. Thus, the first thing I will remember whenever I think of Christian is his unabashed love. Christian's love is his most enduring, Christ-like gift to us. We should share it generously. - Will, Pittsburgh
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"Christian's light was so incredibly bright and warm. You could not help but to be drawn to him and the light he exuded."
II've written this letter multiple times, edited it, rewrote the whole thing and then started all over again. I couldn't figure out why I struggled with finishing this letter to a point that I was satisfied. I finally realized it was because Christian's impact was beyond words. His presence was so big, so bright, so faithful, that there are no words or descriptions that can do him justice. His impact was so much more. My thoughts and words will only be able to convey a fraction of Christian's impact.
I've always been a faithful person. Working in oncology, my faith is sometimes the only thing that can get me thru the most difficult of days. Christian embodied faith more than anyone that I have ever witnessed. I could feel the presence of God with each and every encounter I was privileged to have spent time with him. Christian's positivity was so strong and honestly beyond reason. If there was ever a person who had every right to be angry, mad and/or negative, it would be Christian. Instead, he was continuously positive thru each and every day. He had the ability to make everyone he met feel special. He made everyone realize that their own blessings were bigger and more numerous than they believed.
Christian's light was so incredibly bright and warm. You could not help but to be drawn to him and the light he exuded.
His faith, positivity and light had an impact on each individual he met. He made every person feel special. If they did not feel blessed before meeting Christian, they absolutely felt blessed aft er. He would always ask how my day was, how my family was and how was life with such pure honesty. He taught me
that even in my roughest day I could and should show concern and kindness to others because their day
could be worse.
It was truly an honor, privilege, and blessing to have been graced with being in Christian's amazing presence. It was a gift that I will forever remember.
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"I believe that Christian's purpose was to bring love and joy to others."
Most of us spend our entire lives trying to figure out our true purpose in this world. Christian Cochran had it sealed on his heart since birth. His purpose was to LOVE, and he brought joy and love to everyone who knew him.
I know in God's eyes, we are all equal, but I think that Christian was very unique and special. He was given many gifts which enabled him to impact so many in his short time on earth. He was charismatic and used humor to unite his peers. Christian would bring students from all walks of life together and share stories which made them laugh and look forward to the next day! My son would often share one of Christian's thought-provoking tweets. He claims that Christian was the funniest person that he ever met. The point is that everyone wanted to hear what Christian had to say! Christian used his gifts of humor and wit to bring happiness to everyone he encountered!
Christian impacted my life tremendously. I have always tried to be a good person and faithful Catholic. Through witnessing Christian's battle with cancer, my prayer life has increased immensely. I prayed the rosary in the past, but we recited it together weekly for a year. I was responsible for our opening prayer each week which required me to become comfortable expressing my intentions for our friends. I would search for inspiration through reading Scripture and online prayers. Weekly rosary and daily prayer became a greater priority in my life. Asking Mary for her intercession was very powerful. I couldn't help but think of Mary's walk with Jesus throughout his suffering and death. Danielle and Chris experienced a similar journey with their son, and I knew that Mary would be with them always.
One day, Chris and Christian came outside during our gathering for the rosary. Although Christian was feeling ill, he was smiling. He was grateful. He was kind. He vomited in the yard because he was so sick from the chemotherapy. He still managed to thank us for our prayers. No ordinary person could have remained so positive when experiencing such pain and illness. He was extraordinary! He selflessly accepted this cross and never wanted anyone to focus on him. He cared so much for others and wanted to make sure that everyone else was okay. His positivity was a gift from God. He looked for the good in each day. If he can do this while battling a rare and progressive form of cancer, I can certainly do this each day with minor aches and pains!
I don't pretend to understand God's plan, but I believe that Christian's purpose was to bring love and joy to others. It came naturally to him, and this can only be done through the many gifts that God gave him. My husband said that Christian was ageless...he could relate to children, teens, and adults. Jesus is ageless too. Christian lived as Jesus wanted us to live. I am blessed to have known him as he has had a lasting impact on my life.
Sincerest regards,
Michele, Pittsburgh
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"He accepted me exactly as I was. Christian’s smile, unconditional kindness, and warm personality brought so much comfort and light to my days at college. Christian was ecstatic and reminded me of the value of selfless acts. His message warmed my heart and made my day."
Christian was one of the first people to make me okay with being at college. At the time, I struggled with immense social anxiety. I feared being anywhere other than my childhood home because I always felt like the world around me was judging me for one reason or another. I became best friends with Christian’s roommate; and due to issues with my own roommate, I started spending a lot of time in Christian’s dorm room. Every time I knocked on the door seeking a quiet place to study or just relax, Christian would greet me without questioning a thing. It did not matter if it was the first time I knocked that day or the fifth time. The genuine excitement behind him saying, “Smitty!” every time I stepped into his room was the warmth I needed and reassurance to know I would never be a bother and was always welcome. Christian even started referring to me as his “honorary roommate.” He never complained about my presence, and he accepted me exactly as I was. Christian’s smile, unconditional kindness, and warm personality brought so much comfort and light to my days at college.
In April 2021, I donated my hair for the 7th time in my life. However, this time when I cut off my long brown curls, I could not help but think of Christian. So, when I sent my hair to the donation center, I had it formally done in honor of him. I debated on sharing that with him, but something pushed me to text him to let him know. I am so glad I did. His response reminded me of just why I donate my hair and that it wasn’t just something that was ordinary for me to do. Christian was ecstatic and reminded me of the value of selfless acts. His message warmed my heart and made my day.
Since we talked immediately following Christian’s Memorial Mass, there was one phrase that you said to Clay and me that has not left my mind – “Promise me that you will never hold back. That’s what Christian would want.” I know that was a message directly from Christian, and that phrase has been just the push I have needed lately. I am reaching a point of burnout in my education, so I am often tempted to not give my all in anything I do or to let opportunities go because I am too tired to take them on. However, I know I need to live my life to the fullest and use my fullest potential, and remembering that phrase along with how Christian lived his life has served as the motivation I need to put in the extra work, to stay up the extra hours, to take the extra opportunities.
Please feel free to share these memories with anyone. They do not have to be anonymous either. Feel free to use my name with them if you want to as well. I cannot wait to see how Christian continues to have his impact on the world.
Take care and God bless!
Alexa
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"His legacy will be lasting for so many as a result."
Dear Cochran Family,
Though you all certainly witnessed it for yourselves, Christian left such a positive impression on every person who had the pleasure of meeting him. He was able to reach people in many ways, his wit, his energy, his intelligence, his originality, his artistic talents, and his SINCERE KINDNESS AND COMPASSION FOR OTHERS. All of these enabled him to cultivate meaningful connections with people from all walks of life.
His legacy will be lasting for so many as a result.
While I have many (some more absurd than others) stories I could share, I think the memories of Christian I will appreciate the most are those which came from sharing the radio booth and Co-hosting Local Limelight. Let me just say, I don’t think I ever laughed as hard in college as I did around Christian. That in itself is beautiful! I feel incredibly lucky to have called him a friend for so long.
Sincerely,
John
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"Being in a room with Christian, you knew you were in the presence of a very special child of God."
Christian Cochran was an angel among us on earth. I met him through our mutual diagnosis of cholangiocarcinoma. This cancer diagnosis is devastating because of the aggressiveness and rapid spread of it throughout a patient’s body. I’m sure, as a young and technical savvy young man, Christian had read all of the grim statistics of those diagnosed with bile duct cancer, but he did not let it define him.
Christian's love of others and God was evident in his actions and his words. He was always more concerned with others than himself. His voice was calming, happy and reassuring. Meeting him in person, you could feel the warmth radiate from his body to yours. His smile was genuine and his eyes were caring and compassionate. Being in a room with Christian, you knew you were in the presence of a very special child of God.
I am blessed to have called him friend.
Lisa, Cleveland
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"Christian, a young and vibrant beautiful young man, though robbed of a longer life here, was destined to be a Servant of God. Any life touched by Christian is a blessing and a radiance of love."
Dear Chris and family,
Throughout life, we are presented with options and the privilege to make endless choices that influence the future; both short and long term. It’s through unprecedented times when we lose that ability, that privilege, but are reminded that there is one constant in life. And that, of course, is our faith.
From the second I spoke with Christian, I immediately felt a sense of peace, comfort, and love. His presence was always so calm. His smile instantly melted your heart. Christian carried a unique, gifted spirit that I’ve never experienced before. In all my years of working with individuals and families impacted by cancer, Christian’s devotion to the Lord and radiance of love for others is what I’ll carry with me as inspiration. He used his faith and personal passions to shine light on every circumstance he was presented with, and this only made it easy to attract to him and want to be in his presence at any given opportunity.
Christian, a young and vibrant beautiful young man, though robbed of a longer life here, was destined to be a Servant of God. Any life touched by Christian is a blessing and a radiance of love. For Christian to face his illness with such grace, compassion, and humility at such a young age signifies his eternal purpose. I am honored and blessed to support Christian being a Servant of God and only hope the Diocese of Pittsburgh and Father Nick Vascov of St. Stanislaus Catholic Church provide their blessing as well.
May we all use Christian’s beliefs, faith, perceptions, and wisdom as lifelong reminders of the choices we can make on how we choose to live, regardless of our timelines here on earth.
All my love,
Stephanie
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"Now, I continue to be inspired by his close connection to his faith and how he was always able to lead with unconditional compassion, and selflessness. He knew no other way but to lean on his faith and act as Christ would."
Dear Cochran Family and Father Nick,
I wanted to share Christian’s impact on my journey through spirituality and how he has brought me closer to God since his passing. I have always known of Christian’s close connection to God as it was a cornerstone of his life. I could tell he always loved to speak about his faith, especially about how it connected him to his loved ones. I can recall him sharing how much he cherished going to Mass at St. Stanislaus Kostka and spending time in the Strip District with his family afterward.
Now, I continue to be inspired by his close connection to his faith and how he was always able to lead with unconditional compassion, and selflessness. He knew no other way but to lean on his faith and act as Christ would. This was evident throughout his life, but especially in all he went through during his illness, where he displayed selflessness beyond earthly comprehension.
The last time I saw him is a perfect example of this. It was in June, so no doubt he wasn’t feeling well, yet he came to attend a surprise party for Bridget’s boyfriend, as he knew it would mean a lot to the both of them to have him there. At the party, Christian was eager and excited to talk and laugh with everyone there. I remember our conversations at this party were mostly him asking about me, recalling details about my life and our friendship throughout the years. He was smiling, laughing and reminiscing with me and all of his friends during a time that must have been so difficult.
This evening is a beautiful memory that encapsulates everything amazing about his wonderful soul. I grew up in the Catholic Church and have been confirmed, but in the years following my confirmation had strayed from the Church, and from faith and God in general. Since Christian’s Celebration of Life Mass, I have felt a calling to the Church like I haven’t in the past. It feels as if faith and spirituality have reawakened in me, as I feel inspired by all that Christian was.
Two weekends ago, I paid a visit to The Basilica of The Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. It is stunningly beautiful and as soon as I walked in I felt an immediate calm. In recent years, I have struggled quite a bit with anxiety, and the calm that I felt in the Church was one that was quite rare and extremely comforting. I would describe the feeling as if a weight had been lifted from my chest, accompanied by a peaceful stillness, as I felt Christian there with me. I lit a candle in honor of Christian and kneeled down at an altar and prayed, and felt inspired to really open up to God for the first time in a very long time.
This was the start of a new journey for me that I can only hope will help me become more like Christian, a true Servant of God.
Christian will forever be in my heart, on my mind, and in my prayers.
Megan, Pittsburgh
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Dear Cochran Family,
Christian has been an amazing friend to me over the past decade and a half. But this story I’m about to share actually happened today and instilled faith into me.
This semester of grad school has been particularly hard. Not only do I have to grieve and cope with the passing of a close friend, but I have the added responsibility of being a full-time student while working in a hospital as an intern. And naturally, working in a hospital isn’t the best environment to be in after a friend dies from cancer.
I’ve slowly been running out of steam, and today was particularly exhausting for me. On my way to the hospital this morning, I asked Christian to do me a solid. I asked him to cancel my afternoon sessions. It might seem like a silly request, but I really needed the afternoon off to take care of my mental health and to recharge. But as students, we are conditioned to work through any pain, and that’s what I intended to do. As therapists, we need to take care of ourselves before helping others.
One of my upcoming sessions was going to be particularly difficult today. About 10 minutes before the session, the client canceled. Twenty minutes later, another client canceled. These cancellations sent me home for the afternoon. I truly believe that Christian heard me and honored my wish after seeing how distressed I was. Keep in mind that these clients rarely cancel sessions.
Even though he’s not with us on Earth, Christian is still taking care of the people he loves. I am forever grateful to have known him and I miss him every day.
Sincerely,
IS
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"He had the ability to see the best in every person, and treat them based on what he saw, something that I try to emulate every day".
Christian represents so much in my life, but the word that comes most closely to mind is love. I was beyond lucky to receive love from Christian in many forms, and he truly changed the definition of love as I see it today. Christian taught me that love should always remain unconditional and favor the best parts of all of us.
While Christian and I were the closest, I saw that love in every single interaction I had with him and others. One important story that comes to mind occurred when we were visiting one of his favorite restaurants, LuLu’s noodles in Oakland. As we were entering the restaurant, we were approached by a house-less man asking for money. I had quickly reacted to reject this man’s pleas, but Christian went right away to open his wallet, and without hesitation offered him a $20 bill.
After the interaction I went to question why Christian would give that amount of money when he kindly reassured me that this man needed it, otherwise, he wouldn’t be asking, and if there was anything he could do to help, he wanted to do it. I think of this interaction, and Christian’s saint-like level of generosity every time I see a house-less person, and/or, any person in need. He had the ability to see the best in every person, and treat them based on what he saw, something that I try to emulate every day.
Megan, Pittsburgh
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"He was strong and composed while facing a truly terrible situation"
I am a medical oncologist at Johns Hopkins University and was one of the many providers who was involved in the care of Christian Cochran during his battle with cholangiocarcinoma, which is a very rare form of liver cancer.
I'm sure that you've heard from many already that this young gentleman was a truly remarkable person. He was strong and composed while facing a truly terrible situation. Despite knowing him for only a brief period of time, I think about him frequently. I care for many patients with this cancer, and to this day I do not understand why some people get this terrible cancer, and why some patients have remarkable responses to treatment and why other patients like Christian do not seem to respond to treatments. Christian once told his family that he felt that his diagnosis would prevent someone else from getting this terrible diagnosis, and I often think that Christian had more clarity about what was happening than those of us who were caring for him.
When he passed, his family kindly mailed leftover chemotherapy pills to my home address (these are exceedingly expensive, and they are very useful for cancer research or for patients who do not have insurance). Somebody stole the package from my doorstep, but remarkably, this person returned the package with a note apologizing and explaining that upon realizing that the package contained medicine they felt obligated to return it and are working on getting help for an addiction. Upon reading this note, I felt Christian's guiding spirit was already helping others around us.
I hope that one day we will have a cure for this terrible cancer, and that Christian will help us get to a cure.
Most sincerely,
Mark Yarchoan, MD
Assistant Professor
Johns Hopkins
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"If there is a modern version of a saint or one who walked in the footsteps of Jesus - it was Christian"
Cochran Family,
I have known Christian since he was in kindergarten class with my daughter. They grew up on the same street and were in many musicals together. Christian was always full of life and kindness. When we learned of his diagnosis and the courageous way, he chose to live his life, putting others first, it had an amazing impact on me.
His mantra of “What’s good about today” became my daily reminder as I have walked through my own grief and loss ( my dad unexpectedly passed last November) that God is always with us and there is always much to be thankful for. Christian’s celebration of his life was a true testimony to just how far and wide his light shines. There were people from different backgrounds ethnicities religions ages from children to the very old- all to pay respect and celebrate the true light he was- is.
If there is a modern version of a saint or one who walked in the footsteps of Jesus - it was Christian. I truly believe his impact on me and so many others have come at a time when so many are hurting and have forgotten “what is good about today”. GOD is what’s good about today!
Christian reminds me of that every time I feel sad, I know he’s reminding us of all to look for the good, share the good through love and kindness.
Stacy, Pittsburgh
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"He always arrived asking how I was doing and not himself."
Letter for Christian Cochran-
From day one, When I met Christian, he instantly reminded me of my twin sons. His eyes lite up as I told him and was a memory of Christian I always remember. He had so much going for him, especially his faith. He always arrived asking how I was doing and not himself. I would be so thrilled when I saw his name on the schedule, making sure I was always there to greet him. His eyes always told a story of how he was feeling
without a word of pain or suffering when I knew better. I remember riding in the elevator with him and telling him, that if it’s not working, we
need to kneel down. He looked at me and said ...you remind me of my mother. Oh my his faith was so strong, even on his not-so-great days. He will be truly missed by all as the office, everyone always asked about him. He left us with an ever lasting impression, on how we all need to be like him and value faith as an ever lasting gift from God. I miss him and know God has taken a wonderful, strong young man to help out in
heaven.
Rest in peace, Christian.
Debe, Pittsburgh
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"His mantra has completely changed my life."
I wanted to send over this note to you as my personal tribute to Christian.
As you know, there have been tributes and stories pouring in about Christian’s effect on people during his time here on earth. And further, his earthly life has had a profound effect on so many people. It really is incredible how many people he affected and how strongly he affected others during his too-short life.
Christian’s mantra that you mentioned at the funeral, “what’s good about today”, completely sums up Christian’s beautiful spirit and unselfish nature. And with your permission, our family is using it every day as a type of guide rail for life. His mantra has completely changed my life. I’m not generally a negative person, but when I do have a negative episode, I stop; I think about Christian; I think about his mantra; and I immediately become less negative. When I think about Christian, which is often, I can feel his kindness surround me. And his mantra really does help me every day to be a kinder, gentler person. Just think. If all the people he has touched and all the people who didn’t know him but hear stories about him can be that less negative, what a wonderful world is being created.
Since I have known Christian since he was six or seven, I have clear memories of what a special person he was, even from a young age. Some things about him are burned in my memory. One of my favorite things that Christian used to do is this: he would walk down the street to see if Nicky could come out and play with him. On the times that Nicky was not home, Christian, in his wonderfully adorable way, looking at the ground and kicking at the dirt, would then say, “how are you doing Mr. Broujos”. He didn’t ask when Nicky was coming back or where he was. His first inclination was to ask how I was doing. At that age!!!! I will never forget it. His buddy wasn’t home but while he was engaging with someone else, he might as well check to see how that person was doing. I think that he always wanted to make sure that everyone he met was doing well; wasn’t sad. His heart was bigger than his entire body.
I also loved Christian’s laid-back lifestyle. That lifestyle screamed “just be happy”. You recently sent me a picture of Christian and Nicky. In the picture, Christian had a pair of very hip sunglasses on. A kid at that age wearing sunglasses was not too common. But he was so comfortable in his own skin that I believe he didn’t care what people thought; other kids or adults. He wore them because they made him feel a certain way; in a positive way. He wasn’t wearing them to attract attention or to pretend he was older than he was. The sunglasses just made him feel fine; happy. And what an incredible attitude to have at that age. What’s the saying: “from the mouths of babes”. It’s just another example of a life lesson that Christian exuded from a young age and all of his life: just be happy; be yourself.
Deanna, Zach, Nicky, and I will continue to pray for your family, and will continue to thank God that we knew Christian for so long. Obviously we cry for your loss. But we cry less for ourselves because we knew him. My life would not have that guide rail that I do now if we never met you guys; never knew Christian.
What’s good about today? That we met Christian.
Gregg, Pittsburgh
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"Christian blessed me that day by reminding me it was okay to be here still and that I have a purpose in helping others have hope."
Dear Chris, Danielle, and family,
I have attempted to start this letter so many times over the last few months since Christian's passing. Unfortunately, his passing hit much too close to my heart, as I have also lost a young son and know the heartache of losing a child. I am so sorry for the loss of your son and brother. I have seen the pain and emptiness this tremendous loss leaves behind. I also know your faith is insurmountable as I have witnessed firsthand your and Christian's love for the Lord, our Savior.
I remember when I first heard about Christian's diagnosis of cholangiocarcinoma from his aunt and uncle, David and Bridget. I was heartbroken and immediately felt a connection to him, most likely because I had just lost my 24-year-old son earlier that year. I wanted to find a way to save him and let him be a miracle in surviving this disease. I knew from the way David and Bridget talked about Christian that he was something special. I went to Christian's website and looked at his pictures, and read about him. His personality shined through the screen. I soon realized how right I was when I met Christian via our Zoom call shortly after connecting with you all.
As a 12-year survivor of stage 4 cholangiocarcinoma, I suffer from a great deal of survivor guilt. It especially hits me hard when talking to someone so young, vibrant, and remarkable as Christian. I don't fully understand why I am still alive when so many others are not. I do know that God doesn't make mistakes and that His ways are not ours. I trust that He has a plan for all of us whether we are here or in Heaven. I sometimes believe God kept me here to help my family through the tragedy of losing my son, Skylar. I also know that I can't waste this gift of life. I feel strongly about helping others diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma to the best of my ability. But even with my strong faith, I can still feel the survivor guilt. My survivor's guilt is where Christian made a difference to me and touched my life.
While talking to him on the Zoom call, he made me feel comforted, something I try to do for other patients. He was so happy for me. He was delighted that I had survived and was here to be a mother to my children. He told me that it was vital for me to be here for them, as he looked lovingly at both you and Danielle, his parents. He was grateful that I took the time to meet with him and answer questions for him. He told me that I gave him hope. Christian blessed me that day by reminding me it was okay to be here still and that I have a purpose in helping others have hope. I started that Zoom call thinking I was going to help Christian and his family, but in reality, Christian helped me resolve some of my survivor's guilt and look at it from a different perspective. I think of Christian all the time, of the optimism he eluded that day and how much he touched me as a mother. I will never forget this. I can still see his smiling face.
Thank you for reaching out to me during the most challenging time of your lives as parents receiving a diagnosis of your son having cancer. I know as parents, we would gladly take on this burden if we could, but it is not ours to bear. I am blessed to have known Christian for a brief moment. Thank you for this. I will forever keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
All my love,
Melinda B, Boston
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"He was a person who always thought of others before himself. It seems like this came completely naturally to him"
Christian and I kept up a correspondence, sharing music with one another. I didn’t know him as well as others may have, but getting a message from him always meant I was in for something good. He was a small part of my every day life, but in aggregate he brought me immeasurable joy with all the interesting music he would share with me. I can only imagine the sort of light he brought to those with whom he was closer.
Christian struck me as someone who would always go out of his way to check on those he was close with. He was a person who always thought of others before himself. It seems like this came completely naturally to him. Christian inspired me to try and do the same, to attempt to efface myself in order to bring joy into the lives of those I love.
Henry, Pennsylvania
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"All of my memories of Christian are memories of him serving others through humor, kindness, and acceptance."
I am incredibly blessed to have had Christian as a friend. He had a unique talent for making whoever he was speaking to feel valued and special. I remember him coming up to me my senior year of high school in our Asian Studies class after we had really only been good acquaintances, and he expressed to me his desire to become real friends. It is rare to meet someone so confident and enthusiastic about getting to know you in this day and age, when most young people are scared of being open or forward.
He would often joke about a silly play about Edgar Allen Poe that we put on in seventh grade English class together (he of course starred as Poe), making me feel that he truly remembered and valued the times we had spent together in the past. Christian continued to develop our friendship by challenging me to a “Rock Paper Scissors” competition at the beginning of every Asian Studies class—a small, sweet act that made me laugh and feel a sense of belonging.
As our friendship grew, I witnessed how compassionate, intelligent, and originally funny he was. One of my favorite memories of Christian was when I worked at Market District with him the summer after our senior year, and he would come to visit me at the Starbucks on breaks. He brought me little moments of laughter and joy throughout the workday, and for that, I am extremely thankful. All of my memories of Christian are memories of him serving others through humor, kindness, and acceptance. I am so fortunate to have had him be a part of my life and hope to follow in his example.
Elizabeth,, Pennsylvania
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"His warmth and friendliness always made us all excited to see him."
Christian was a year older than me, and we were all in a small friend group for a while. Although some of the others tended to keep to themselves or only talk to those they knew, Christian went out of his way to make me feel welcome and comfortable when I first joined them.
I remember hanging out with him before we became closer once, and he surprised me with a matching fake nose ring. It was a sweet moment, and I still wear it! From there on out, our friends all spent time together regularly, whether it be a small house party, or exploring somewhere new off-campus. His warmth and friendliness always made us all excited to see him. I don't think I ever had a single negative moment with him. I wish I got to know him more.
Hannah, Philadelphia
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"Christian's wisdom and kindness are truly God-gifted and beyond his 23 years on this earth"
Christian's words, "What's GOOD about today" became a lifeline to me from the moment I first heard them. Not only is a PERFECT sentiment of how Christian lived his life every day (before and during his diagnosis), but it truly kept me focused on something positive while I walk through my own grief and loss. Christian's wisdom and kindness are truly God-gifted and beyond his 23 years on this earth. His belief of kindness begets kindness is so simple, yet so profound and needed more each day.
Stacy, Gibsonia
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"A laugh or smile was always guaranteed."
I met Christian his first year of college. He immediately brought so much energy to our community at IUP. I remember seeing his flag collection and hearing him share so openly about his passions. His willingness to share parts of himself so quickly and openly with others made talking to him feel so safe and fun. Years later, with a friend, he started a conga line with students who were evacuated from a residence hall after a fire. It was 3 am. We were tired, bored, and worried-yet Christian still got a line going. He consistently found ways to uplift others. I'll never forget how nice it was to just be around him. A laugh or smile was always guaranteed.
Autumn, Unknown
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"He completely changed my perspective on life"
When I first got to college, I was in a very dark place and very lonely. And then I met Christian. He immediately accepted me for who I was and we began spending time together, taking me under his wing and accepting me into his friend group. I have never in my life met someone as funny and kind as Christian. He never failed to make me laugh. He completely changed my perspective on life, teaching me to be grateful for the little things and to find humor in everything. I miss him every day.
Emma, Unknown
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"He was an authentic role-model! He stood firmly for inclusivity!"
"Chris, Danielle, Kate, and Nick, on behalf of the Daniello family, we send our love and support to you.
We truly loved your son and brother. Christian was a shining light in our community and in our world. When I first saw Christian onstage, way before I knew you through lacrosse, I instantly recognized his natural ability. I remember finding him after the show and telling him how natural and phenomenal he was. He spent so much time talking with me, a total stranger. It was then I had a glimpse of the electricity and kindness that he exuded. Christian was so talented in regards to the Arts, but so,so,so talented in the art of kindness! When he spoke with you, he engaged 100% (truly listening, looking directly into your eyes, and thoughtfully responding). He was a dependable friend to anyone needing a friend, which is one of the reasons he had so many friends! He was always the first Senior to make sure the Freshman had rides to Eat-N-Park after the musicals. He was an authentic role-model! He stood firmly for inclusivity! He cared so deeply for his family, and was never afraid to show it! When Nick was in the MS show, he came from college to support him and told me how proud he was of his little brother! I once saw Danielle and Christian shopping at the mall when he was on break, and was touched by how affectionate he was with her! I recall him telling me how thrilled he was to have Kate at IUP with him. And I remember sitting with you at a FB game when he was marching, and when the band ran up the steps to go to the concession stand, he made sure he stopped and said hello to you, Chris (none of the other kids were doing that). I can say this with great certainty; I do not think I’ve ever met a soul as unique as Christian. Our hearts are broken with you! However, I feel certain that the beauty he created in his lifetime will continue to bloom through those whom he touched. I know he loved to skip stones on water, which is a perfect analogy. The ripple effect of Christian’s love and goodness will forever travel throughout this world-both near and far. God Bless sweet Christian!" -
Noreen, Gibsonia